Yesterday I received a text from an old love, who I had not heard from in months, and who had disappeared in the middle of our so-called relationship. Based on how he acted when we were together, I had been left quite in shock, and did not understand the sudden betrayal and abandonment. Yesterday, in his texts, he sounded a bit out of it, said he was in physical pain due to some undisclosed ailment, and confessed not having a heart……um, duh!
I woke up this morning thinking about all of my lost loves, facing my unrealized self and tried to carve out a general truth about love. Come explore this with me…
Hollywood – The Bane of Our Society
Vision boards are suppose to work, so if the television and movie screen are our most watched vision boards, why are we not falling in love or living in fabtabulous families with happy endings like most movies have? BTW, if you are living the fantasy life, you may not get anything out of this post because you are likely already where I am headed to or are being taught by some capable person who lives there. The issue is that when we look at vision boards that we create, they come from us and from our very real desires about what we want. Hollywood offers scripts………and actors.
The First Actor
I realized a little too late that some men were not as interested in me as they first appeared to be. Quite truthfully, they just wanted a piece of ass so they had to go through a bit of a dance and acting job to get it.
They pretended to want to hear what I had to say.
Silly me. I was so excited about wanting to be heard that I spilled all of my silly hopes and dreams, only to find out that when the same guy talked to his best friend, his conversation was totally different. He thought I was silly and spooky. I realized I didn’t even know him or what he liked to talk about AND he did not feel me worthy of even trying to broach the conversation so he stuck to “you’re so beautiful”, “so what do you like to do” AND “what did you do today?”
After I gave up the cookies……too early…..I found out that he had gotten what he was looking for and he was off to the next bag of chips. In fact, when he texted me his well rehearsed lines to get what he wanted, I never knew he had sent out the exact same texts to six other women before me. Well now.
What My Male Friends Taught Me
My male friends will sometimes be on the phone with me when one of their love interests calls them (on a different line), and I hear them say, “OMG, I hope she just goes away,” only to answer the phone in the most welcoming voice to make her feel that she is adored. Damn.
When my ex was trying to win me over, he called constantly and pretended to want to counsel me on all my woes. Now he reveals truthfully, “women need to find other women to talk about certain things because men just don’t want to hear it!”
Then why in the hell did you ask? Who knew.
Learn First, Love Later
Women who are looking for love need to understand a few things in order to get as close to the Hollywood scenario of Prince/Princess Charming as possible.
- Allow the love interest that you meet enough time to take off his/her mask. Yes everyone comes putting their best face forward and you really don’t know who you are getting until they remove the fake hair, hair dust, freckle/blemish-covering clay (not that freckles are bad), false legs, false nails, false lashes, false fragrance, etc., and allow you to look under the bed and in the closet of their lives. Haven’t you ever wondered why many people are so fake? It is because they don’t like their real selves and don’t want you to see them, so how in the hell can they love you. Once their imperfections are revealed, become adorable or at least tolerable to you and vise versa, then you might be able to strike a deal.
- Marriage and long-term commitment is a business deal. Would you enter into a new business with a thief with no money, skills, passion or direction?
- Give people a chance to prove to you what they are saying. Taking someone’s word at face value can lead you to fall in love with an imaginary character that the person in question created, specifically when their flattering words are meant to turn attention away from themselves. Wait until the conversations become less flattering and more revealing. Once revelations are made, watch the person live out their convictions because if they cannot keep promises to themselves, they cannot keep them with you either.
- Don’t give up the cookies to soon if you are looking for lasting relationship, unless you are a woman who is into sex for money or the sheer joy of sex. You could develop a miserable soul tie that lasts for years whether you want it to or not, and men do not develop soul ties as fast as women do because they are mental lovers, but women are sacral lovers — sacral being where things grow. There is a game called love that is not about love at all, but more about saying what is necessary to fulfill lust. Stay on top of the currency of the developing friendship and put the currency on the shelf for a while to ensure that the gold you were given does not turn into rusted brass, all because it wasn’t really gold to begin with. When a man has sex with a woman, he inserts part of his soul into her and that soul wants to go back home when if finds out where it is, unless you are some type of energy vamp that knows how to transmute it (that is another blog post…lol). Once that energy wants to return to him, you will find yourself obsessed with being with someone even if you don’t even like them, and that is scary and confusing.
- Sometimes the other woman does get the man. If you meet a guy or girl who has been intimate with someone since childhood, and they confess to you that they married someone else and an affair with this same person ruined their last marriage, AND they are still friends with this person, THEN you may want to just remain friends with him as well, until you check out the truth of the situation. There are some people that others have strong, active 5th houses with, and if a Saturnal placement also exists there, you won’t be able to compete, unless you have a rival astrological compatibility with that person. Other times the man is in love with the woman and she is just not attractive enough for him to bring around his family and friends, so he enjoys during booty call hours only, which makes him a punk.
Hope this advice helps and that you can go into your quest for love, all the wiser.