Falling in #Love with Nonexistent People

Yesterday I received a text from an old love, who I had not heard from in months, and who had disappeared in the middle of our so-called relationship.  Based on how he acted when we were together, I had been left quite in shock, and did not understand the sudden betrayal and abandonment.  Yesterday, in his texts, he sounded a bit out of it, said he was in physical pain due to some undisclosed ailment, and confessed not having a heart……um, duh!  

I woke up this morning thinking about all of my lost loves, facing my unrealized self and tried to carve out a general truth about love.  Come explore this with me…

 

Hollywood – The Bane of Our Society

Vision boards are suppose to work, so if the television and movie screen are our most watched vision boards, why are we not falling in love or living in fabtabulous families with happy endings like most movies have?  BTW, if you are living the fantasy life, you may not get anything out of this post because you are likely already where I am headed to or are being taught by some capable person who lives there.  The issue is that when we look at vision boards that we create, they come from us and from our very real desires about what we want.  Hollywood offers scripts………and actors.

 

The First Actor

I realized a little too late that some men were not as interested in me as they first appeared to be.  Quite truthfully, they just wanted a piece of ass so they had to go through a bit of a dance and acting job to get it.

They pretended to want to hear what I had to say.

Silly me.  I was so excited about wanting to be heard that I spilled all of my silly hopes and dreams, only to find out that when the same guy talked to his best friend, his conversation was totally different.  He thought I was silly and spooky.  I realized I didn’t even know him or what he liked to talk about AND he did not feel me worthy of even trying to broach the conversation so he stuck to “you’re so beautiful”, “so what do you like to do” AND “what did you do today?”

After I gave up the cookies……too early…..I found out that he had gotten what he was looking for and he was off to the next bag of chips.  In fact, when he texted me his well rehearsed lines to get what he wanted, I never knew he had sent out the exact same texts to six other women before me.  Well now.

What My Male Friends Taught Me

My male friends will sometimes be on the phone with me when one of their love interests calls them (on a different line), and I hear them say, “OMG, I hope she just goes away,” only to answer the phone in the most welcoming voice to make her feel that she is adored.  Damn.

When my ex was trying to win me over, he called constantly and pretended to want to counsel me on all my woes.  Now he reveals truthfully, “women need to find other women to talk about certain things because men just don’t want to hear it!”

Then why in the hell did you ask?  Who knew.

Learn First, Love Later

Women who are looking for love need to understand a few things in order to get as close to the Hollywood scenario of Prince/Princess Charming as possible.

  1. Allow the love interest that you meet enough time to take off his/her mask.  Yes everyone comes putting their best face forward and you really don’t know who you are getting until they remove the fake hair, hair dust, freckle/blemish-covering clay (not that freckles are bad), false legs, false nails, false lashes, false fragrance, etc., and allow you to look under the bed and in the closet of their lives.  Haven’t you ever wondered why many people are so fake?  It is because they don’t like their real selves and don’t want you to see them, so how in the hell can they love you.  Once their imperfections are revealed, become adorable or at least tolerable to you and vise versa, then you might be able to strike a deal.
  2. Marriage and long-term commitment is a business deal.  Would you enter into a new business with a thief with no money, skills, passion or direction?
  3. Give people a chance to prove to you what they are saying.  Taking someone’s word at face value can lead you to fall in love with an imaginary character that the person in question created, specifically when their flattering words are meant to turn attention away from themselves.  Wait until the conversations become less flattering and more revealing.  Once revelations are made, watch the person live out their convictions because if they cannot keep promises to themselves, they cannot keep them with you either.
  4. Don’t give up the cookies to soon if you are looking for lasting relationship, unless you are a woman who is into sex for money or the sheer joy of sex.  You could develop a miserable soul tie that lasts for years whether you want it to or not, and men do not develop soul ties as fast as women do because they are mental lovers, but women are sacral lovers — sacral being where things grow.  There is a game called love that is not about love at all, but more about saying what is necessary to fulfill lust.  Stay on top of the currency of the developing friendship and put the currency on the shelf for a while to ensure that the gold you were given does not turn into rusted brass, all because it wasn’t really gold to begin with.  When a man has sex with a woman, he inserts part of his soul into her and that soul wants to go back home when if finds out where it is, unless you are some type of energy vamp that knows how to transmute it (that is another blog post…lol).  Once that energy wants to return to him, you will find yourself obsessed with being with someone even if you don’t even like them, and that is scary and confusing.
  5. Sometimes the other woman does get the man. If you meet a guy or girl who has been intimate with someone since childhood, and they confess to you that they married someone else and an affair with this same person ruined their last marriage, AND they are still friends with this person, THEN you may want to just remain friends with him as well, until you check out the truth of the situation.  There are some people that others have strong, active 5th houses with, and if a Saturnal placement also exists there, you won’t be able to compete, unless you have a rival astrological compatibility with that person.  Other times the man is in love with the woman and she is just not attractive enough for him to bring around his family and friends, so  he enjoys during booty call hours only, which makes him a punk.

Hope this advice helps and that you can go into your quest for love, all the wiser.

RT

The Real Truth About Love and the Secret of Happiness

If I was a Universal Judge that was tasked with determining whether or not the people in my world knew what love is (to include me), my judgement would be not so favorable…

Love is a Second and Third Person Word that We Have Totally Twisted

It is about her, him, she, them, you, but not me — not in the slightest bit.

Love is not:

Please don’t die because I don’t want to be alone.

Love is not:

Wow, you are so sexy and desirable, I want to ……

Love is not:

I am going to pick up after you and spoil you so that you don’t leave me.  (That’s actually desperation.)

What love is about is what can I do for you and give to you that will not put me in harm’s way, persay, but will result in a fulfillment that I will experience just from giving and nourishing you.

Sometimes putting yourself in harm’s way for a person is duty, which is a high form of love, but not the type I am referring to here so we must not get the terms or energies confused.  Putting your child in harm’s way so that you can keep a man is NOT love.

Also, (changing persons for just a moment) love is not about buying people things so that they can love ME more, and it’s not about cooking a great meal so that I can be complimented and perhaps have a meal cooked for ME in return.  Love is not about ME, it’s about you and the magick happens when somehow, without looking for something in return, you receive something indescribably delicious as a result of your desire to simply give to me and that indescribably delicious something does not come from me.

Motives for Love and the Truth about Monogamy

Always check your motives for everything you do. The truth is, if I really love the ex that broke my heart, I’d just want him to find himself and true happiness, with whomever is the best person for his ascension.  I’m workin’ on that type of love….lol.

Love is not monogamy.  Back in the day, men were lawfully required to love ALL their wives and to equally distribute inheritances amongst them, which is still the case in some countries.  The idea of being in love with ONE person for a lifetime was and is a foreign concept for most humans at a deeply biological and primal level.

I honestly think the concept of monogamy is merely due to the lack of tyrinase.  Tyrinase is an enzyme that produces melanin, which in turn produces a dopamine-type affect in the brain or a ‘happy chemical’ of sorts.  Without this chemical, we look to people and outside influences to entertain us or to keep us pepped up and a break-up could cause one to be suicidal.  Hormones aggravate the need for this dopamine effect, therefore, I hypothesize that monogamy is neither biologically normal, nor a desirable state for the procreation of mankind or the social wellbeing of the world at large — it is merely a consequence of a chemical defect.  Monogamy has actually bred a culture of brokenness, divorce, unhappiness, suicide, heart break, selfishness and disillusionment.  Monogamy is not for everyone and it is not love.

It’s Time to Get Back to Truth

If you are in a state of doldrums because a loved one passed away from a painful illness and left you all alone, it is likely that selfishness has presupposed love to some degree, because the feelings of happiness and relief you should feel when they are released from suffering do not override feelings of what You lost.  Let’s check the motives for what we do and why. We must get back to our purpose and understanding WHY ARE WE HERE IN THE FIRST PLACE????

The Secret of Love and Happiness

People, humans, etc., cannot make you feel loved because no matter how much you do for them or they do for you, you’ll always question how long it will last, or why they did it, or if they really meant it, or how will I survive when they leave, etc.  Someone’s compliments can build your ego, however they are not akin to love because they can’t be unless you are giving said compliments to someone else and looking for nothing in return.

The #secret of the happiness that comes from real love is that love breeds an invisible creation of intense energy that occurs in a spontaneous, ethereal, stem cell moment as a result of what you unselfishly do for others.  No one can bring to you these feelings of love because it is not about what you can get — it is about pure and complete selflessness and the euphoria that only this selflessness can create, and which the universe itself will give to  you.  If you operate in pure love, you shouldn’t even need what someone else gives you to attain a state of happiness because your acts of unselfish love and kindness will provide you all the happiness you need.

RT

PS – I am not sure who took the featured pic, but I think it represents a truth about love.

Re-Embrace True Love Day – September 23rd

Bring Back the Love!

September 23rd– Re-Embrace True ‪#‎Love‬ Day

Symbol: The White Lily (as given in a dream on 9/10/15)

Theme:  If God/Goddess is Love, and I am God/Goddess, then I am Love, the greatest Force in the Universe.

Song:  The Greatest Love of All – George Benson

The Balance of Love  — Poem by Renee Tarot

Though the dark is needed to exist beside the light,
the latter also must thrive and remain before our sight.

Balance is necessity, it breeds a calmer sea.
Focus too much on one side and peace will cease to be.

For myself I ask to see good life as once before,
making choices that enrich and fill me to the core.

Sensitivity I welcome you — before me reappear,
cleanse the organs of deceit, wipe them pure and clear.

RT

***

lilyOn September 23rd, let us re-embrace true love with its challenges, the requirement for commitment, all of the good and bad, its fruitfulness and need to be.

It will be a master # day “22” and a day of a waxing Super Moon.

As a collective body — let us return to ‪#‎Romantic‬ #Love on this day and practice ALL other types of love as well. If you would like — you can take it through to the ‪#‎Supermoon‬ — from September 23th – 27th, 2015.

SPREAD THE WORD — WE DON’T HAVE MUCH TIME!

***

What Should You Do on this Day?

1. Focus on love that is lifelong and share something that you have with someone else.

2. Give random, inexpensive, homemade cards, picked wild flowers and gifts.

3. Tell three people you love them and mean it. Hug them if you have access to them.

4. Spend some time meditating on, praying about, facing and resolving issues surrounding deeds that we have done to ourselves and to others as a result of what was done to us.

5. Go to couples therapy and save your ‪#‎relationship‬.

6. Sit down with the kids and give them a chance to voice how they feel about ‪#‎broken‬ relationships or visit your children that you do not live with.

7. Create an official relationship with someone that you expect to be committed to. Make it about someone else and celebrate that day going forward.

8. Reestablish your ‪#‎innocence‬ by revisiting healthy childhood dreams and manifest a miracle by this time next year.

9. Do not say or think anything in judgement with regard to anyone’s spiritual beliefs or sexual preferences. Accept all for who they are.

10. Go out of your way for someone.

11. Remove all fear from your mind and offer unconditional tolerance.

12. Get along with your mate’s other child’s mother and vice versa.

13.  Hear Ye, Hear Ye!  Thirteen is no longer an unlucky number.  The 13th suggestion is to LOVE YOURSELF!

***

In America, some of us scoff at middle eastern women for covering their faces and we look down upon families who take a part in choosing mates for their children, but look at what we have become. Many men and women have had so many lovers that they become bored with their spouses within 9 months of marriage.

In this country, we are rampant with diseases of the sexual organs. People are now being jailed for ridiculous reasons and paying prices that do not equate to the crime.  Prisons are contributing to the erosion of love.

Women of all races run to surgeons and hair stores to create walking mannequins that replace who they really are as humans thereby relegating many men to a distaste for real human women.

This country was built on the backs of those that were products of rape and sexual immorality. Those of African decent were thrown into beds with whoever would produce the best seed and many women poisoned their wombs, creating generational curses that exist to this day, and they were not allowed to legally partner.  Civilizations such as these leave a long term sting.

I have heard there is even consideration to create a sexual preference for innocents — a distasteful preference and one on top of which the current religious system is built on.

We gorge on animal flesh, which is ridden with hormones and our children reach puberty too early, before they are mentally ready to handle it.

Though the prostitute is an age-old figure, she has now made her way into our living rooms, sitting on the lap of the young, and also the elderly and a little blue pill. All of this has eroded the concept of coupling and love.

WE turn our backs on each other in ego-driven fits of selfishness, leaving the children in the middle of a tug of war, with little hands trying to clean up grown up messes with their tears. Everyone is using everyone like toilets. Release, wipe, flush. Release, wipe, flush, but where is the love?

The mammals and birds of prey have a better understanding of what love is than we do, so what does that make us. Dammit my roosters will spit out food and call to the hens to eat before they do. I envy my hens with their protective counterparts….lol.

Correct, some of us are the animals now.

Today, I have been grieved….possibly the Moon in Leo, maybe I am feeling someone’s break up pain or a child’s pain — or my own. We blame the diaspora and we seek the next top model look alike and who can feel/fill us up the best, ……………….BUT, at what point can true love give us bliss in and of itself.

We gotta get back to life because the balance is off …….Ase!

***

Re-embrace True Love

September 23rd

Enjoy our Theme Song:  “The Greatest Love of All” George Benson

RT

You will Die More Than Once in this Lifetime When Real Trouble Comes, However You Can Come Back to a Different, and Even Better Life

Perhaps what Hollywood has done is not a good thing in creating perfect people for us to pattern ourselves after…

The First and Second Deaths

No, I am not talking about the book of The Revelations this time, just regular life and the situations it brings, which actually are sometimes like death.  As usual, I’ll start with myself.

Even though I wrote the book Broken Heart (which was about my fourth or fifth death) I can honestly say that now I am in a much better place than where I was then, but I AM still evolving.

Today a situation occurred where my response was slightly over the top and sprinkled with a hint of malice and lack of sympathy.  I also posted something on a Facebook page of mine that I am sure had to hurt some people, but the post does not affect me.  It does not affect me because I just don’t have strong feelings in that area….but, that in itself bothers me because I am pretty sure that I should.

When I was younger, I had a father in the home, but he wasn’t that great of a dad in my opinion.  He has apologized for that, however it is too late now.  If anybody in the family reads this, I do not intend for this post to hurt you — I’m just trying to help someone else.

He provided for us as best he could and he stayed in the home, but there was a lack of affection so now as he goes through various illnesses in his old age, I don’t really care like most daughters would, even though many of his not so good qualities were due to the plight of being a black man in America.  I mean how can a man be treated like shit all day and come home all hunky dory?  I know my feelings seem harsh, but as a Pisces child, I so longed for the love of a father that something in me died when I did not get that love and that place in my heart turned to stone.

The Consequences of Death While Still Alive

Following that, in my quest for love, I sought affection from male love interests and did not make the best choices in my desperation.  As a result I suffered and never knew a man’s love because the ones I chose had no clue about how to give it.  Consequently, I realized too late that something had gone horribly wrong…..or maybe it went right, depending on how you look at it.

The things that hurt us most will definitely change us and we’ll eventually stop hurting if we allow ourselves to go through these things.  If you were sexually or physically abused as a child, treated harshly by a spouse, bullied as a youngster, ridiculed for your sexual orientation, made fun of due to your religious beliefs, or experienced anything that left you feeling destroyed, you may have risen from that situation realizing you had changed or hardened in some way.

That change is okay and actually is normal because we all must go through various metamorphoses to get to our end result, I mean who eats vanilla ice cream and birthday cake batter?  The batter must go through the change of becoming a cake!

I have good news for you — it’s okay that you are not the 1970s Hollywood dad or mom, but you do have a responsibility to file down the jagged edges of the newly quarried jewel that you still refer to as your heart.  If as a result of the experiences you endured you are depressed, angry, bitter, evil, etc., please fix this.  The same way you were broken, you need to develop a plan to be put back together again, perhaps differently, but in such a way that you can still positively impact others and like the feelings that it brings.

What Can I Do to Fix My Twisted Heart?

I am not a psychologist, but I will say that in addition to getting therapy from someone who is licensed to provide it, the following may help:

  1. Hang around people who do not have the same issues as you.  You can help each other and they can teach you to see things in a better light (from their healthier point of view) and ‘lend’ you some of their heart in the area where yours was stolen.
  2. Carefully select the media that you feed into your senses, because it should be wealthy as opposed to poor — and by wealthy I mean, nothing missing, nothing lacking and nothing broken.  Too much gangsta rap, porn, gushing blood and gore films, etc., can cause callousness of the heart and indifference.  It’s okay to watch this type stuff every once in a while, but do all things in moderation and balance.
  3. Make a decision to love and practice it by putting yourself in a place where you can see and feel how the love you provide nurtures and is needed and appreciated. You need to reap its rewards early for positive reinforcements in order that you can re-learn to dwell in it.

I wrote the song below when I finally experienced true care from someone, who helped to rebuild my brokenness.  Hopefully it will help you to.

Song:  “Everything’s Alright Now” by Colette Renee with music by smoothbeatsonly.com

If you’d like to download this song, you may do so here:  Colette Renee on Google play

RT

#Love #Yourself First to Help Cure a #Broken #Heart !!!

osun butterflyAs you all know, my life is a series of spiritual experiences and for this, I am very grateful. The moth that is depicted on this post visited me recently and the untouched picture on its wings reminded me of who I am….a queen…

The Woman in the Candle Shop (True Story)

Yesterday I had the awesome opportunity of visiting one of my favorite candle shops to pick up trinkets and supplies.  When I arrived at the shop, there was a sign on the door that said the shop was closed for a few hours.  I was sorely disappointed as I had driven quite a ways and to my wondering eyes, a woman appeared to unlock the door.  I mentioned to her that I thought the shop was closed and she said, “Not for you.”

A young black woman came in right after me and was staring at me as the mystic behind the counter dressed my candles and we raved about Oschun.  I did not pay the young lady any attention because people are always looking at me like there is something odd about your sistar!

The mystic behind the counter stopped talking to me and turned to the woman and asked her why she was crying.  I had not even noticed because I was so engrossed in my conversation.  The young woman then turned to me and said, “I want ‘you’ to help me.”

I looked at her and probably looked a bit confused since there was a very capable woman who was working behind the counter and who had even taught me some stuff.  The young lady began to tell us about a problem that she was having leaving someone that she realized she needed to let go of.  The gist of my message to her was, “Baby, you don’t need magick.  You just gotta love yourself.”

Broken Heart

Some years ago, I wrote the book Broken Heart, which you can find on this page in the right sidebar.  The book started out as a journal that I wrote in during times where I could hardly breathe from the pain — somehow the writing soothed the discomfort of my heart.  I had gone through an awful betrayal with someone who knew better, but who was not empowered to do better.  In order to save my soul, I began writing, until a blog turned into a book recording the first few months after a devastating heartbreak and how I survived it.  I make no apologies about what I wrote in the book because it was what it was.

The Actual Message from the Universe

Today I was thinking about the experience and I realized that the young lady was not just speaking for herself, she was the voice of all of the young women who had made the wrong choices in a mate and who, because of their intense love, was finding it hard to let go of a futile situation.

I write in the book about one particular situation where I literally felt I would die from the pain, however instantaneously a swift wind came into my basement room and removed the intensity of it and I have never since felt that type of pain again.  Perhaps the entity that visited me that night left me a little medicine for you too, which I have done my best to infuse into the book and a song.

I felt like singing today and what came out was what I consider to be the theme song to the book Broken Heart.  You may download this song, free for a limited time, if it encourages you……please note you will be asked to join my mailing list to receive the download, but I promise to always encourage you and I do not send emails often, perhaps monthly.  If you do not want to join the list, you can still listen to the music.

Also, keep in mind that the free download is for a limited time only, but I do hope that it does help someone who needs the strength to let go! If your heart is loved and healed, please forward the song to someone who is not as fortunate as you.
RT