It wasn’t that I didn’t like you, I was just done with the bull. I mean, I know that my great grandmother was down for you, but my paternal grandma wasn’t having it, and I hung around her a lot…..so what did you expect…..grandpa wasn’t there to defend you because grandma divorced him.
Don’t get me wrong, I’ve got body-hairless cousins that cheer for you, but I can’t pretend to agree with you when I know you’re wrong. Also, (clears throat)…..da da da dum…..I have a brain.
I know you think it doesn’t work, and that I’m flaky and emotional, but it just means I care, I don’t want to fight and I like the thought of living longer…., which by the way, you can do if you get with my program.
I have something I have to tell you and I’ve been wanting to tell you this for a long time. You’re not as smart as me. Nope, and under your leadership, little girls and boys have been raped and mutilated, and the world is going to hell in a hand basket.
Oh, you didn’t know?
But, I’m not going to make this long, I just wanted to ask if we could find a way to get along. I still want your virility in my life, but when you see me….you see someone else. It kinda showed up on my face and now you think I’m a smartass or a know-it-all.
Nooooo! It’s not that lol, it’s just that I like not having bruises on my arm from you pulling me where I don’t want to go. And, sometimes I just want to curl up with my English tea, my cat and my kindle. And just because I don’t want to have sex when I want my kindle, doesn’t mean I don’t ever want it because when I want it, I WANT IT! I no longer want to be a slave to the drug testosterone or to the tiny bacteria that lie at the root of your male member, which YOU refuse to treat because…
“That doctor’s equipment hurts me!” You say in your whiny voice.
So you’d rather I be hurt by you.
Oh well, don’t hate me because I have my own mind. I still need you. Let’s figure out how we can make this work because you have to admit, we need each other.