I Rebelled Against Patriarchy and It Showed Up On My Face – A Love Letter

Dear Patriarchy,

It wasn’t that I didn’t like you, I was just done with the bull.  I mean, I know that my great grandmother was down for you, but my paternal grandma wasn’t having it, and I hung around her a lot…..so what did you expect…..grandpa wasn’t there to defend you because grandma divorced him.

Don’t get me wrong, I’ve got body-hairless cousins that cheer for you, but I can’t pretend to agree with you when I know you’re wrong.  Also, (clears throat)…..da da da dum…..I have a brain.

I know you think it doesn’t work, and that I’m flaky and emotional, but it just means I care, I don’t want to fight and I like the thought of living longer…., which by the way, you can do if you get with my program.

I have something I have to tell you and I’ve been wanting to tell you this for a long time.  You’re not as smart as me.  Nope, and under your leadership, little girls and boys have been raped and mutilated, and the world is going to hell in a hand basket.

Speak to someone who cares — get advice about love and finances.

Oh, you didn’t know?

But, I’m not going to make this long, I just wanted to ask if we could find a way to get along.  I still want your virility in my life, but when you see me….you see someone else.  It kinda showed up on my face and now you think I’m a smartass or a know-it-all.

Nooooo!  It’s not that lol, it’s just that I like not having bruises on my arm from you pulling me where I don’t want to go.  And, sometimes I just want to curl up with my English tea, my cat and my kindle.  And just because I don’t want to have sex when I want my kindle, doesn’t mean I don’t ever want it because when I want it, I WANT IT!  I no longer want to be a slave to the drug testosterone or to the tiny bacteria that lie at the root of your male member, which YOU refuse to treat because…

“That doctor’s equipment hurts me!” You say in your whiny voice.

So you’d rather I be hurt by you.

Oh well, don’t hate me because I have my own mind.  I still need you.  Let’s figure out how we can make this work because you have to admit, we need each other.

Love,

Matriarchy

Astrological Insights: The Best Advice You’ve Ever Heard about Abuse

boyAstrology is a precious gift that was provided to us by the Master Planners so that we would know what the heck is going on and who we are dealing with.  The key to understanding Astrology is to know its alphabet, which includes the planets, stars and houses.  Once you learn the alphabet, you can put together words with it, then sentences, eventually paragraphs and so on.  Many people don’t take it seriously, but one day I hope we all will.  This morning at about 4 am, I had what I will call a spiritual experience.  I invited it and here is what resulted…

Child Abuse Happens

People go through crap and then they pass the crap on, but it’s not really their fault, sort of, because what I have discovered is sometimes they are just born that way as you will soon see.  The first thing you need to know is that I am not here to pass judgment on anyone!!!

As Astrologers, we must be able to read the charts so that we can reveal the unknown and improve lives.  One of the benefits of having a 12th house superstellium (8 astral bodies in the 12th house, which competes with physical prisons) is that I see what others do not.

The examples I have chosen were public cases of childhood abuse so I am not revealing what no one knows.  These examples were given to me this morning and as I write this post, I have not seen the charts so, as I usually state, what I discover was not pre-planned and I did not seek examples to prove any points.  I will list three women who were abused and two abusers:

To understand more about numerology and arrows, please read D.J. Ward’s book, Numerology for Teachers!

Bunny DeBarge (victim – singer and daughter of Robert Lewis DeBarge, Sr.) – Pisces 3/15/1955; Numerological items of note:  Master Number 11; Probably gets along with most people, but may seem to try to see everything as okay when it really is not; possesses aspects of a Minister; Pythagorean strength arrow of endurance and perseverance

Amanda Berry (victim – abducted by Ariel Castro on the day before turning age 17 — held in captivity for 10 years) – Taurus 4/22/1986, Destiny Number 5; Pythagorean challenges – indecisive, hesitant, but probably somewhat intuitive

Gina de Jesus (victim – abducted by Ariel Castro at age 14 — held in captivity for 10 years)  – Aquarius 2/13/1990, Destiny Number 7, Pythagorean strength arrow of inspired planning and intuitive thought

Ariel Castro (abuser – kidnapper) – Cancer 7/10/1960; Destiny Number 6, creative (but that turned out not to be a good thing)

Robert Lewis DeBarge, Sr. (abuser – Bunny’s dad) – Cancer 7/9/1932; Destiny Number 4; Pythagorean arrow of inspired planning and intuitive thought, hard worker

John Arthur Baptist DeBarge (Bunny’s grandfather and Robert’s dad) – Pisces 3/19/1901, Destiny Number 6, Pythagorean weaknesses of feeling inadequate and low self esteem, also arrow missing, which causes regret, frustration and hopelessness.  I only added this info to see if there are hints of abuse in Robert’s past based on astrological indications.

Initial Items of Note before Reviewing Charts

The most difficult part about these comparisons is making sure I have transcribed birth dates correctly and actually pulling up each chart.  Everything else basically glares at you from the computer screen and requires no major thought.

I must say that to find the abusers’ Suns in the signs of Cancer and Pisces is surprising.  Honestly, I thought the abusers would be mostly in fire or earth signs, however it seems water is where the trouble is, which may be where the term ‘troubled waters’ comes from.  Having too much love for a person coupled with emotional instability is definitely NOT good.

My other initial observation is that we want to see abusers as monsters who hate people and their families, but in these cases, they are quite the family men, however their idea of what draws people close is a bit plutonic vs platonic.

Each abuser and victim has his/her Sun in the 10th house.

What Are the Evident Similar Characteristics in the Charts of Abuse Victims?

This is Astrology 101 so we are not looking to dissect minor transits or checking into degree meanings, but simply seeing what is clearly evident with the planets and houses.  After pulling up Bunny’s, Amanda’s and Gina’s charts, what is clearly evident is Pluto hanging out in the root houses three and four, which are the houses of experiences of youth such as home life, school, family,  the father, etc.  Pluto is not a character that you want to play with.

Additionally, as mentioned above, every woman has the Sun in the 10th house, just like the superstars of music.  This brings me to a point that I missed yesterday, which is the important role of a strong mother in the making of a star.  Keep in mind, however, that the master planners like to put superstars mostly in earth and fire signs vs water.  Perhaps this is why Amanda reportedly received the best treatment of all the other victims of Ariel.  With Venus in the 10th along with the Sun in an earth sign, she was the superstar, if you want to put it like that.

Also, let us look at something interesting about Gina, who was 14, when she was taken into the 10 year captivity and who experienced much emotional trauma, but does not have Pluto in the root houses, only Leo (which actually is enough).  Pluto  showed up in her 6th house in Scorpio, which to me indicates mental challenges with the happenings, however there is another twist in her chart.  When Leo shows up in a house without other astral bodies, he has a tendency to make things happen in non traditional ways, as in he will go around the stump to get the job done so other planets can be in other places.  The Master Planners may stick Leo in to get the job done, but he does not pack the same punch as when the Sun, Jupiter, Pluto or Mars is there.  Personally, I think Pluto and Uranus are a lot closer to the earth than we think, however I digress.

Not long ago, I did a post about the parents of Lizzie Velasquez and their affect on her healing and success.  I see this also in Gina’s chart, with the Sun in the 10th house of influence of the mother and fame.  Mr. Sun is trining with Jupiter and absolutely square Mr. Pluto!  Bunny’s Sun also trines Jupiter, however there are no players available to lessen the effects of Pluto in a major way except for Father Time (Saturn).

Also for Gina, Jupiter and Chiron the Healer are in the 2nd house in Cancer which screams support system for the natal individual.  The 2nd house is about more than money, but also about values and self-worth — kudos to moms and dads who support their kids because you can change their lives in doing this!

What About the Abusers?  Which Aspects do They Share?

We need to teach Astrology to teachers in the private and public school systems of America so that people can get the help they need early.  I honestly believe this would bring more of what Gina and Lizzie had into the charts of more people.

Both of the abusers have 10th house Suns in water (Cancer), however, with Mr. DeBarge, the Sun actually joined in the frolic with Pluto and Lilith was the Administrative Assistant — man oh man!

Virgo in the 12th House of Abusers

I consider Virgo as the planner and business person who puts everything in its place, however, when stuck in the 12th house, Virgo apparently lashes out — the 12th house is not a good place to feel stuck when you want things to be ordered in a different way.

The Moon’s emotional upheavals aggravate Virgo in Robert’s chart, and Pluto, which is in Ariel’s 11th house, is also in Virgo — so the effects are felt in the 12th house as well.  Neptune and Uranus are in ‘not so good’ placements – the house of groups / hives (11th) where someone like Venus or Mercury needs to be.

So where is Venus?  Where in the heck is she in the charts of these abusers?  Can you guys believe she is in Cancer?  Yes, love is in the family structure, in the constellation of the home, however her power is perverted in a conjunct with the Sun and opposites/ inconjuncts with Saturn…….feelings don’t last long or they just come and go as they please.  The group issues exacerbate the Venus placement because a family is considered to be a group also.

Both abusers have Saturn in the fourth house of roots and paternal influences — perhaps there is frustration in the inability to measure up to a father one worships so you just say fuck it, then uh oh……and start over again, and again and again to the dismay of the kids and wife.

Robert’s Chart is A Lot for Anyone to Deal With — What of his Dad?

Believe it or not, some people are just who they are and are moving in from a previous life experience to complete a lesson they have to learn.  There are no major abusive tendencies in Robert’s dad’s chart (his love is in the house of the Lord) and with Fortune in Robert’s third house, he probably had a decent upbringing, however with Pisces as a North Node, there was something major he came here to learn and perfect.

Also, his dad’s sixth house Uranus has negative transits with other players, which could indicate what I noted in the earlier numerology section. The moon’s influence here indicates the adversity was more mental than physical.

Simply put, with regard to Robert, issues like a Sun/Pluto conjunct, as well as Mars in the 8th in Gemini and Uranus riding the Ram (Aries) in the marriage house (hinting at the biracial marriage as well) is just a situation that nobody wants to friggin deal with.

So there you have it, in a nut shell.  Thanks for reading and please follow for more interesting comparisons and insights!

R

 

 

 

 

 

 

You will Die More Than Once in this Lifetime When Real Trouble Comes, However You Can Come Back to a Different, and Even Better Life

Perhaps what Hollywood has done is not a good thing in creating perfect people for us to pattern ourselves after…

The First and Second Deaths

No, I am not talking about the book of The Revelations this time, just regular life and the situations it brings, which actually are sometimes like death.  As usual, I’ll start with myself.

Even though I wrote the book Broken Heart (which was about my fourth or fifth death) I can honestly say that now I am in a much better place than where I was then, but I AM still evolving.

Today a situation occurred where my response was slightly over the top and sprinkled with a hint of malice and lack of sympathy.  I also posted something on a Facebook page of mine that I am sure had to hurt some people, but the post does not affect me.  It does not affect me because I just don’t have strong feelings in that area….but, that in itself bothers me because I am pretty sure that I should.

When I was younger, I had a father in the home, but he wasn’t that great of a dad in my opinion.  He has apologized for that, however it is too late now.  If anybody in the family reads this, I do not intend for this post to hurt you — I’m just trying to help someone else.

He provided for us as best he could and he stayed in the home, but there was a lack of affection so now as he goes through various illnesses in his old age, I don’t really care like most daughters would, even though many of his not so good qualities were due to the plight of being a black man in America.  I mean how can a man be treated like shit all day and come home all hunky dory?  I know my feelings seem harsh, but as a Pisces child, I so longed for the love of a father that something in me died when I did not get that love and that place in my heart turned to stone.

The Consequences of Death While Still Alive

Following that, in my quest for love, I sought affection from male love interests and did not make the best choices in my desperation.  As a result I suffered and never knew a man’s love because the ones I chose had no clue about how to give it.  Consequently, I realized too late that something had gone horribly wrong…..or maybe it went right, depending on how you look at it.

The things that hurt us most will definitely change us and we’ll eventually stop hurting if we allow ourselves to go through these things.  If you were sexually or physically abused as a child, treated harshly by a spouse, bullied as a youngster, ridiculed for your sexual orientation, made fun of due to your religious beliefs, or experienced anything that left you feeling destroyed, you may have risen from that situation realizing you had changed or hardened in some way.

That change is okay and actually is normal because we all must go through various metamorphoses to get to our end result, I mean who eats vanilla ice cream and birthday cake batter?  The batter must go through the change of becoming a cake!

I have good news for you — it’s okay that you are not the 1970s Hollywood dad or mom, but you do have a responsibility to file down the jagged edges of the newly quarried jewel that you still refer to as your heart.  If as a result of the experiences you endured you are depressed, angry, bitter, evil, etc., please fix this.  The same way you were broken, you need to develop a plan to be put back together again, perhaps differently, but in such a way that you can still positively impact others and like the feelings that it brings.

What Can I Do to Fix My Twisted Heart?

I am not a psychologist, but I will say that in addition to getting therapy from someone who is licensed to provide it, the following may help:

  1. Hang around people who do not have the same issues as you.  You can help each other and they can teach you to see things in a better light (from their healthier point of view) and ‘lend’ you some of their heart in the area where yours was stolen.
  2. Carefully select the media that you feed into your senses, because it should be wealthy as opposed to poor — and by wealthy I mean, nothing missing, nothing lacking and nothing broken.  Too much gangsta rap, porn, gushing blood and gore films, etc., can cause callousness of the heart and indifference.  It’s okay to watch this type stuff every once in a while, but do all things in moderation and balance.
  3. Make a decision to love and practice it by putting yourself in a place where you can see and feel how the love you provide nurtures and is needed and appreciated. You need to reap its rewards early for positive reinforcements in order that you can re-learn to dwell in it.

I wrote the song below when I finally experienced true care from someone, who helped to rebuild my brokenness.  Hopefully it will help you to.

Song:  “Everything’s Alright Now” by Colette Renee with music by smoothbeatsonly.com

If you’d like to download this song, you may do so here:  Colette Renee on Google play

RT