Let’s Be Clear, Nobody Knows Exactly What to Do.
You make decisions based on what you feel is right at the time, with those involved [or not] and according to the circumstances. The good news is there is more than one way to skin a cat, meaning there is more than one solution to any problem, that will work. Bad news is some people feel their way of doing things is the only way and they will go to major lengths to convince you to give them what they want, even throwing full fledged adult tantrums.
You Owe It To Others to Logically Explain Your Position.
Best case scenario, they will sit and listen to you, in their right mind, trying to understand where you are coming from. Truthfully, in most cases, and especially in Western culture, the person you speak to has already formulated a biased opinion and will not listen to you at all — be prepared for this. If you find they are not hearing you because they seem overly upset or they are not responding to what you are saying, then leave the conversation for a later time.
Allow People to be as Upset as They Want to Be. Practice Distanced Concern.
It is not your responsibility to control other people’s emotions. It is your responsibility not to do anything that will purposefully and without good cause upset others. Sometimes you have to stand up for what you believe is right and you know beforehand that you need to say something that will upset a person in the room. If you feel that what you have to say really needs to be said for the good of all, then say it.
In these cases, you already know that someone in the group may become upset by your opinion. Allow them their feelings and humble yourself in the fact that what you just said truly is your opinion. Do not feel responsible for their feelings and reactions if you know you have communicated your total truth in the most respectful and effective way possible. Use your best judgement to judge yourself first, then allow others to feel what they feel. Watch them, if you must, with distanced concern and without selfishness. Distanced concern is a stance that relays to others that you understand what they are feeling, but you do not share, feel responsible for or carry their feelings.
If you are talking to someone who is in need of mental health services due to the fact that they have real health problems with understanding reality or controlling their emotions, you may need to leave them to sort out their own emotions, in a safe environment. Again, allow them to feel what they feel, but do not take on or take responsibility for their emotions. Consider having important conversations with such people in the company of a licensed therapist or other appropriate professional who can help them sort out what you are saying.
Empathy Can be Dangerous. You Must Know How to Use It.
It is important that you have a healthy realization that you are not the only one in the world and that every being on earth matters. This awareness is the best form of empathy there is — nothing more and nothing less. It is most important that you make effort to understand the feelings of others without taking on the feelings of others. When you take on the feelings of others, many unhealthy things can occur:
- You can lose touch with your own reality and feelings: always understand your why to every one of your actions.
- You can become prone to depression and undue sadness by taking on other people’s stresses. Your own issues are enough for you.
- You can develop anxiety to the point that even when your reality is calm, your nerves are not.
- You can develop unhealthy attachments to unhealthy people. Remember you are an energetic biobot who is easily programmable. Sometimes your only defense is totally or drastically diminishing contact with unhealthy people.
You Have Four More Years of Head Space Healing Energy. Make the Most of It.
Chiron the Healer will remain in your Ori or Head [Aries] for another 4 years until about 2027. Take your time understanding yourself and others using a variety of methods. Read #self-help books. Get a therapist. Join a support group that specializes in what you are dealing with. Take up meditation and learn to clear your mind. Develop healthy coping skills to deal with anxiety. Learn to identify toxic traits in yourself and others. Take a psychology class focused on building healthy interpersonal relationships with others.
There are many things you can do within the next four years to improve your emotional wellbeing. Practice healthy empathy to avoid feelings of undeserved guilt, to discontinue putting on other people’s problems and to increase your awareness in order to live your best emotional life ever.