What Effect Does Saturn Have in Your Natal Chart? A Letter to Saturn [not Santa]

Dear Saturn, Ease Up!

I am not certain what I did in my previous lives, but most of the time I feel like you have a secret vendetta against me. Are you jealous of my freedom?

Is that why you put rings around my waist?

Each time I oil myself and slip from your vice grip, you pull another trick out of your rings and I am taking you to court.


I am taking you to the Universal Court of Planetary Objects [UCoPO] because you are unfair and no matter what I did in those previous lives, this one does not deserve to be screwed.

All you have to do is tell me what to do. It won’t take long because I am committed to being free. I’m done with your fake holograph people, your guilt trips to make me stay with them, your invisible ink contracts…all of that!

When I take you to the UCoPO, my case will include, but will not be limited, to the following complaints:

  1. Your discipline takes years to get through, no matter how insignificant the crime.
  2. When I face your discipline, I have no idea what I did. At least not most of the time.
  3. You are a sadist.
  4. When you are reverse in Aquarius, you send out MK Ultra vibes that make me feel unsafe in crowds.
  5. You are too harsh.
  6. You are too cold.
  7. You show no mercy.
  8. You project your own ring confinement to the Universe and it is not fair.

You tricked me with your beauty and you are too close to Jupiter to act the way you do.

You may give long life, but consider its quality.

Please give me a break.


XOXO [not]

Published by

Renee Tarot

Chief news curator and Editor.

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