“Unconditional” Is a Big Word That Requires a Lot of Imagination.
Can you love a man or woman who does not love you back? Usually only a child can do that, and they do it with their imaginations. Each time mommy or daddy leaves them…again…, they imagine their beloved parent will return with presents, hugs and kisses. They imagine that some unforeseen emergency must have happened and caused their parent to miss yet another birthday. It is not until the child is older and has children of their own, that they realize none of this was so.
Love Relationships Require Large Amounts of Hope and Letting Go.
I’m a Pisces. Enough said, right? I loved hard and completely, or so I thought. I usually started off by imagining that the object of my desire was fascinated with me, whether they told me so or not. Actually, I was a bit of a narcissist. I read a lot into their initial actions toward me without giving them time to prove to me who they really were — I was some kind of wonderful, you know. Whatever they lacked in the starter days, I made up for with mental explanations, hope and blind faith.
A few months or years later, when they’d start to pull away or get bored with my constant adoration, I’d ignore their exit signs. When the signs could not be ignored anymore, I’d cry and refuse to believe what they were saying because, ‘in my mind’ it could not be so. Once they left, I’d be left with a little more bitterness, a smidgeon of anger, and another self-inflicted blow to my esteem.
What is Love Anyway?
I have formed the opinion that love is an agreement that you make with yourself, to give a portion of your own spirit/energy to someone else, looking for nothing in return. The reason why you only give a portion of yourself, is because if you give all of yourself, there’ll be nothing left of you to keep you alive because a body cannot live without a soul. Also, you cannot require ANYONE to give a part of their soul to you.
You need something of yourself to remain with you so that you can enjoy your hobbies and passions; reason your way through life; experience the rest of the world and humanity; and reach out to Creator Spirit and the ancestors. You see, keeping something to yourself is extremely important!
One Person Cannot Hold All of the Love/Spirit/Energy You Have Inside.
Do you like mayo? Perhaps you are a mustard fan OR prefer a spicy chipotle sauce. Whatever you put on your sandwich, imagine all of the condiment being concentrated in one small spot on your sandwich. Not only will that part of the sandwich be too messy and yucky, but the rest of the sandwich will be dry. You have to spread the mayo so that you can enjoy ALL the sandwich has to offer. Spreading the condiment on both pieces of bread is even better, but not too heavily because you don’t want to over do it, and you want some mayo left over for the next sandwich. The sandwich is a metaphor for life and the condiment represents your love.
Holding Something Back Will Make You Happier.
Maybe you feel if you don’t pour everything you have into a person, they will feel you don’t love them. I beg to differ. They will actually want to come back for more, even though you don’t hold back for that reason.
When you’ve saved something for yourself, they enjoy watching you enjoy your own life. They learn from you when you share what you have with people other than them. They cherish the moments you spend with them. You become a teacher and a gourmet main entree! But even more than that, when INEVITABLE change occurs, whether through death, sickness or simply growth; you have something to fall back on so that loss will not devastate you.
You breathe and share spirit with your beloved, yet you breathe and retain spirit for yourself, while sharing with others and the Divine. It is as dangerous to over-love someone, as it is for them to over-love you. The relationship will begin to feel like you are a crutch; a bandaid that prevents them from dealing with their own true hurts and healing what needs to be fixed.
Life Requires Lucidity.
I wrote a poem a while back, during a relationship, where, once again, my Piscean soul blindly loved someone who was slipping out of my grip. We’d just had Valentine’s Day dinner, but I could tell he was not really into it. Change was a’comin’ so I did what I usually do and picked up pen and paper to release my feelings. I hope you enjoy it and have learned something from this post:
“Lucidity”
Poetry About Mature Love
2/15/2016
I try to remain lucid….
despite my present existence in an ethereal land of fantasies,
the mistiness of which hinders my vision and sight.
I have been scarred by abandonment of pleasure, love and good times
and now know neither of these are a given,
nor are they to be taken for granted.
Even more, all are worthy of the preparation and patience they require,
and these same three that I have with you seem wholesome, inspirational and right.
Our cosmically weaved carnality testifies of even better times to come
and persuades me of the dire need to obtain lucidity for their continuation.
Lucid in a sense of nurturing focus, realism, trust, transparency, evolution
and acceptance.
Sounds, tastes, aromas and textures of our uniting
are to me as the freshest delicacies enjoyed without want of additional spice.
My intent is to allow lucidity to seduce time by planting and grounding me in
what is,
what is needed,
and what is to come.
And most assuredly, the awe, which has been inspired
by the circumstances creating our connection, is all that
shall intoxicate me in this experience.
RT
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