Codependency, Perverse Empathy and Self-Righteousness Lead to Nowhere.

^{As I dive more deeply into this spiritual journey, I am further convinced that empathy, as we know it, is not healthy. Renee Tarot}

Why Do You Care More Than the Universal Powers Do?

Most spiritual practitioners who are over the age of 40 were taught to feel other people’s burdens. Did you know this can lead to mental health issues?

There are many spiritual texts that exist in the world, yet there are as many interpretations and ‘voices of God’ as there are people. Some of you grew up giving your lives to Christ in some form or other and being taught biblical principals that we now know lead to insanity. Who among us is qualified to determine what is right or wrong?

Even I once thought that I knew so much that if people did not act the way I wanted them to, they were not people, but something else. Harsh lessons taught me that people expectations lead to personal upset, which leads to mutual rebellion. My expectations were making things worse and stealing from others the right to feel their own pain, live their own lives and seek help their own way.

Perhaps it is Time for You to Learn Something from Narcissists.

Any of you who have suffered at the hand of narcissists know their lies, deceit, betrayal, envy, lack of self-worth etc., are devastating to others, however, no one or no thing can be 100% bad. Should selfishness always be avoided?

I don’t think so.

How can you understand another’s feelings, without understanding your own? A drowning person cannot save another who cannot swim. If you focus on what you feel, you may be surprised at what you attract. If you don’t focus on your own feelings, you can become numb to what you really feel. Empathy is highly overrated.

Also, most narcissists do not continue to date people who reject fast relationshps, excess praise and who are comfortable having, expressing and fulfilling their own desires. Perhaps even, there would be no narcissists if there were no people for them to date and make children with. You cannot love bomb anyone who is turned off by the sound of explosions.

Empaths, Disband!

Oxford’s definition of empathy is:

the ability to understand and share the feelings of another.

Actually, it is not necessary to share another’s pain in order to understand it and/or treat it.

If you feel the pain of someone with Borderline Personality Disorder, or share a Narcissist’s discomfort with being ignored, does that mean what you are feeling is right? Not at all, because these people are feeling from an unhealthy perspective and, in many cases, over feeling according to average standards. What advantage does feeling from an unhealthy perspective give an empath? No advantage at all, however it does affect your own brain’s neurons, cortisol, chemicals, adrenalin and can leave you in a state worse than the person you are picking up on.

Despite what you have read in other posts about empathy, know that it is dangerous for you to try to feel other people’s feelings because yours can get lost, leading to depression, suicidal ideations, and relationship issues. It is better to learn to listen to what someone says to you, get multiple points of view, study society and what works, then advise. You do not have to personally encapsulate another person’s emotions to understand them and offer advice. You are also responsible for knowing that emotions = energy and there are things you must do to protect yourself from absorbing someone else’s negative emotions.

Example: If you are reading this post, you have never been killed, yet I am sure you know how awful it must be to become a murder victim. You see, empathy in the form of sharing emotions, feelings and experiences is not needed.

Religion leads to Self-Righteousness leads to Empathy leads to Co-dependency.

Many of you were taught as children to bear one another’s burdens. Absolutely, you should help when you can, but you should not mimic, feel, act out, or express other people’s burdens.

Pro-lifers have been known to kill abortion doctors and nurses. They have been known to blow up clinics all in the name of God. Why, pray tell? Because they feel justified in their own form of perverse empathy for the victims of abortion. It has nothing to do with what their God wants because he clearly said, ‘thou shalt not kill.’

Self-righteous, overly empathetic codependents cannot be happy unless everyone around them is acting and feeling the way the codependent wants them to. Many codependents are empaths who grew up with problem parents, thereby becoming addicted to neglect, hurt, pain, abandonment and loss. Yes, you can become addicted to any emotion you experience frequently, one of the worse being that of betrayal in love.

Many people who get involved with cheaters will date more than one cheater in their lifetime.

So why would any of you want to attract a cheater? Likely because you have many or all of the following characteristics:

1. You move quickly toward permanency in relationships because you hate your own company and enjoy being love-bombed.
2. You don’t feel any emotion unless it’s someone else’s.
3. You were abandoned by a caregiver early in life and still have a need to find someone similar to them as an adult to see if they will stay with you this time.
4. You frequently fantasize about your partner being with someone else when you are at the point of orgasm so you have manifested a cheater with sex magick.
5. Subconsciously, you don’t feel worthy of love.
6. You are a masochist, but have not yet admitted it to yourself.
7. You are self-righteous and feel you are too good for it to happen to you, so you attract someone who shows the signs so you can prove how good you are at converting people.

There are numerous other reasons why the cheatee tends to attract cheaters, however #7 is typical for the codependent because it is the item that most lends itself to trying to change another person. I have NEVER met a cheater who did not inform me that he had cheated before.

Imagine what your life would be like if you had no expectations from others, was socially educated, accepted diversity and practiced only feeling your own feelings and emotions.

The world, at least your world, would be a better place after all.

R