This past Sunday, I intended to begin a new song composition and also wanted to listen to an audio book, but not before catching up on some reality TV shows via YouTube. I ended up going down the YouTube rabbit hole watching full episodes of just about every available vid concerning the Amanda Berry / Gina DeJesus / Michelle Knight kidnapping. Why this type video was suggested for me when I was just trying to find out what was going on in the life of a recording artist is beyond me, but here are some of the many things that inspired me.
Song lyrics that comes to mind for this post: You gotta know when to hold ’em, know when to fold ’em, know when to walk away, and know when to burst the door down and get the hell out. (words in red are mine and all others are from Don Schlitz, writer of the song, “The Gambler”).
The Study of #Success — Things that struck me about this case.
As you follow and read my blog and books or hear my music, you will find that defeat is not really an option for me. Fear, weakness and defeat are states of being that I detest and sensible, fearful people irk me and can take their sensibilities elsewhere — give me a Caleb any day of the week.
If you just returned from Timbuktu and are not aware of this story, three young women were kidnapped in Ohio years ago
and were held against their will by a maniacal, chauvinistic, patriarchal, insecure, energy vampire. The women’s names are Amanda Berry, Gina DeJesus and Michelle Knight. Michelle was held the longest (11 years), suffered the worse and had no family support. All of the women suffered greatly and were finally freed in the spring of 2013.
My understanding about kidnappings in general is that most victims are not found alive, specifically when they are kidnapped as children. Also, the odds of finding kidnapped children are more slim as time passes. There was an obvious outpouring of love from the community and EVERYBODY knew Amanda and Gina because of the love that supported them, however after a while no one even mentioned Michelle because she was not a minor and her family was not looking for her. The fact that all three of these young women were found alive is a major success in my book. Michelle’s story interests me because most times I feel like I am surrounded by sell outs and her determination and energy are refreshing, specifically when faced with all the odds she was up against.
The Journal Excerpt
When Michelle became distraught during her captivity, she wrote in a journal to express her feelings and to assist her with coping. Even though her captor reportedly burned one of the journals, she did have another, on the cover of which a spider web was displayed because it symbolized the situation in which she found herself….a web that she could not get out of. One of her journal entries reads as follows:
“These rings are for all the lives that you have stolen and destroyed.
In the end death will come for you and all the stolen moments will haunt you for eternity.
I will not be overcome by eternal flames of hell. I will rise above, against all odds.
I will strive with my head held high and my feet firmly on the ground.
I will overcome and I will live my life.
And you will die.”
Her captor reportedly committed suicide about 30 days into his life + 1,000 years prison sentence. One of the things that I have been studying lately is how words create power. I have learned it is NOT how loudly you speak, but how much you mean what you say. It is not about how well you speak or about using perfect grammar because African-Americans live on the confessions and prayers of uneducated slaves. This is about emotions and is in line with what I wrote about the power of silence, which fuels intent, specifically in prayers or magickal workings (same thing to me — it’s all energy). Michelle is said to have been the worse treated of the bunch because in the ‘patriarchy gone wild’ mindset of her captor, women were to succumb to him and submit, which is something she refused to do (at least against her will). Her internal drive fueled her writing, which in itself, and due to her emotions changed from a journal to a grimoire or holy book. When she had no one on the outside looking for her or who loved her she encouraged herself and was driven by the love she had for her child. She also received support from her fellow captive, Gina.
The Letter and True Sentencing
At the end of the trial, victims and their families had an opportunity to address the convict and as far as I am aware, Ms. Michelle was the only victim that addressed him face to face — I was impressed. In the letter she read to him, she said “I spent 11 years in hell, now your hell is just beginning.” She also told him of his hypocrisy, going to church every Sunday only to return home and torture them. She mentioned that she forgave him, but he would die a little every day (approximately 3.3%). She did not say she hoped he would, she said HE WOULD. Michelle did not scream, she did not yell, she did not sob, she simply spoke. People say Michelle was mentally challenged, but I say, “child please”.
The #Power of a Streamlined #Prayer or #Confession
Okay so as I viewed the vids and read the news reports I am totally intrigued, excited and convinced there is something to gain in this today even though the women were found over a year ago.
This morning, 10/27/14, on my way to the gas station Michelle’s prayer hit me. She told Dr. Phil that in her captivity she would pray that God would “pop the lock”……I love this. I spoke to myself out loud in my car (don’t judge me) saying, “that seems like a unique prayer to me….”pop the lock”. Actually, I have no idea what I would say in those circumstances, but Michelle’s prayer was well thought out and streamlined. Forget the oh heavenly fathers; the thees and thous; the oh most holy I am thy humblest servants; and calling the watchtowers by their first, middle and last names……(sound of tires screeching)…..it’s just “God, pop the lock”.
On many days, Michelle says she was chained to a pole with a dirty sock stuffed in her mouth and duck tape over that. She was a prisoner in the dark, in and out of consciousness in extreme conditions, which can cause the unconscious mind to do one of two things: arise and fuel or wither away. I am sure she prayed many prayers and there were prayers and love sent from many others, but hers is the one that stood out to me, as a mystic.
What I Learned
If you find yourself in a situation that you ‘say’ you want out of, but really, you don’t.. your energy workings will probably be null and void because you may lack the emotions and power to fuel them.
Forget all those pompous and arrogant words! What in the hell do you need to happen? Learn how to formulate your ‘pop the lock’ prayers, confessions and plans so the universe knows what you really want!
Be happy. I did not say be happy if… or be happy when…I just said be happy because you are going to be in existence as a soul traveler for a very, very, very long eternity. You may as well decide to make the most of if because you are in training now to be the sun of your own personal solar system.
Stop suffering for a minute and help somebody else while you are in the midst of the shit. Michelle talks about stepping in front of Gina to take blows because she felt she was able to deal with it best. She continued to love and care about others in the midst of her storm — actually it was the love for her son that got her through the ordeal.
Thanks for sharing with us Michelle.